Silent fortress built to last Wonder how I ever made it
When your best is never enough things start to spin out of hand. Its really strange, everything thing piles up when I am supposed to be concentrating on exams There is this long list of things to prepare I really do not think I can do it. At the same time I have to do well for my exams. Its this pressure my parents put on me, or maybe I put on myself. Its like standing on those rolly chairs and like screwing on a light bulb The slightest inch of hesitation or fear your legs start to tremble and you fall. (Its happened too many time before, literally and uh symbolically?) It feels like I am standing on a chair like that now. This is such a bad imagery. I am so not a Lit student I know I can do it with God's strength, somehow it is such a cliche thing to say. Everyone says it, but actually finding it is something else. I remind myself 24/7 how the joy of the Lord is so important, but everything seems to overshadow it. Until a point where you are doing everything just because you have to, like breathing. Exams are so annoying. They make me sad and fustrated, because I just cannot bring myself to study.
Anyway today after school I went to photocopy a few sets of Emath,Amath&Physics past year papers I really doubt that I would be able to drag my lazy butt to do it. Its like the dreadful stack of paper After awhile the machine went mad and started spurting paper out I started panicking in the library and Raina just merely pressed the cancel button. Tonight I am going to have nightmares of paper spitting photocopying machines attacking me till my whole body is filled with paper cuts and I trip over air and drop my armful of unstappled exams papers onto the floor mixing it up with random white paper. Yes, I am strange.
Anyway 1 week and 3 days more to the birthday party of the term. Celine, izzy and Beu! It will be such a cool 15th birthday for all of them. With Beu&I planning the games :D Izzy will get a wonderful surprise once she opens her birthday present It would be so hilarious. At least I have something to look forward to before I mug my brains out.
Now time to go back and write my advise column for our English newspaper. Its really cool Dear Aunt Choo-gony, ...